and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
