My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
