Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I am naked and annoyed.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
