I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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