My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
