sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
