You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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