if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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