it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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