mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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