If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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