You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
