Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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