sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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