she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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