Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
