used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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