Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well I just put wine in my tea
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
