There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
