16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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