i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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