i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
