The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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