The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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