im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Randomize
