Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
