After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
