That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
