he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I am naked and annoyed.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
