You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
