David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
