Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
