Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
