I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
