He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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