yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
