I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
