Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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