Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
