i used baking grease as lip gloss
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm really busy with my period
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