Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
