in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We have started to decorate penises.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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