you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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