Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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