Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize