Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
