I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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