You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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