im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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