The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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