hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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