please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
