Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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