She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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