God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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